But the Biblical position on marriage deprives GPT of sexual expression
I was in an awkward position recently where an unexpected conversation on same sex marriage came up with some church family members. I call it an awkward position not because I shy away from the topic or am embarrassed of my views (If you have read any of my articles, you will have no doubt this is not the case), but because my dialogue partner was clear he was not coming at this from a purely Biblical theological point of view but rather an emotional and experiential one.
As a result, I had to be super careful, guarded and was not as forceful or robust as I would have liked to be. He stated a family member of his was of the opinion that it was not in line with scripture, but was interested in my thoughts. I gave him a very quick run down of my position contained in the two articles linked below, then he gave this response.
“While I fully understand that and completely see things from that point of view, my thinking (again not theological or anything) is that if we hold this position, do we not deprive gay people of an avenue to express themselves sexually?”
At this point, I had 1,001 things to say but again, I did not want to approach this too robustly because he was at pains to stress it was not something he had looked into so he was not necessarily debating me. I would present you with what I said and then what I would have said but for the constraints earlier alluded to.
“If out of every woman on the planet, the only woman I was sexually attracted to was my sister, would you still think it was a deprivation of my sexual expression that I cannot pursue this relationship?”
At that point he proceeded to point out the question was whether the desire was a perversion or not and current thinking would be that children would be a perversion, family members would be a perversion as well but same sex attraction was not a perversion.
I then retorted that nobody is really allowed to express themselves sexually following that logic because for example, he as a married man would not have desires solely for his wife but the onus is on him to reign that desire and not give it full expression. I also pointed out that ultimately some of these issues tend to be cultural, in the west, same sex relations would be an acceptable thing but polygamy would be weird, in Africa, same sex relations would be weird but polygamy would be acceptable. That is the problem with the categorisation of “perversions” he enumerated which have no basis in scripture.
I also pointed out that the Bible’s condemnation is not of same sex desires but of the actions based on those desires. In the final analysis, Genesis defines the bounds of sexuality and nobody naturally agrees with those boundaries. Jesus and Paul also spoke about singleness and marriage meaning both are honourable and it is possible to serve and honour God in both capacities. Jesus calls as many as follow Him to deny themselves and take up their cross. That will look different for different people.
What I would have pressed on is the assumption that effect of the Biblical position deprives people with same sex attractions. I would have pointed out that the Biblical position also “deprives” men like Andrew Tate from banging all the girls that flock around him. It would also deprive Muslims of three extra wives and unlimited number of sex slaves. Genesis is thus an equal opportunity offender in that sense.
I would also have pressed on his category on perversions especially regarding kids being very culturally driven. I would have shown him that according to Islam, in particular Surah 65:4, kids are fair game for sexual activity so would those categories hold true in an Islamic culture? In fact bringing it closer homes, at the peak of wokeness, there was an attempt to bring in MAPS (Minor Attracted Persons) as part of the GPT movement and even they went “get the hell out of here!” to such a proposal. In a world where MAPS becomes an acceptable position, would he then have to move kids out of the perversion category?
I also pointed out that people are fallen and born with all manners of desires which are not in alignment with God’s purposes and this is the point of the gospel. Ultimately all have sinned, whether gay or straight, and it takes only faith in Jesus Christ to save. Also it is really not a big deal to be gay according to scriptures but the issue is that everybody else has made it a big deal, they have made it THE CENTRAL ISSUE that determines whether you follow Christ or not and if that is the case, Christians should be choosing Christ every single time.
Also consider:
