Everyone married kids back then! How Muslims defend the prophet’s child bride
Introduction and background
Whenever non-Muslims and critics of Islam point out the very problematic marriage of the prophet Muhammad to the six year old Aisha and the consummation of said marriage at nine, Muslim apologists tend to leap to their prophet’s defence with statements like;
A. Girls matured way quicker in seventh century Arabia
Even if we grant this, the hadith repeatedly portrays Aisha as a young girl playing on a swing, playing with dolls and having to be “fattened” before being delivered to the prophet. Aisha was not mature at the time she was handed to Muhammad as a child bride so this does not help the Muslim’s case. (see Sahih Bukhari Book 63 Hadith 119, Book 78 Hadith 157 and Sunnah Ibn Majah Book 29 Hadith 74)
B. The prophet waited until Aisha was mature
Although the prophet indeed waited for three years, we do not know that he was waiting for any signs of maturity from Aisha. Some sources suggest the prophet was waiting until he could afford to pay the dowry. Again, if the prophet was truly waiting for maturity, why was there need to “fatten” Aisha according to the above cited hadith? Why did the prophet not just wait until she naturally grew fat?
C. Rebecca was three years old so even Isaac married a kid
It takes an insane person to argue that Rebecca was three but this quite a common one and do not skip over this if you find it insane, you need to learn the response to this. What do the scriptures say?
First, Abraham sent his servant to look for a WOMAN for his son to marry,
“But Abraham said to him, “Beware that you do not take my son back there. The Lord God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and from the land of my family, and who spoke to me and swore to me, saying, ‘To your descendants I give this land,’ He will send His angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there. And if the woman is not willing to follow you, then you will be released from this oath; only do not take my son back there.”
(Genesis 24:6–8)
Abraham’s servant prays to God to grant him a woman for his master’s son,
“Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say…”
(Genesis 24:14)
Rebecca is described as a “woman” in Genesis,
“Now the young woman was very beautiful to behold, a virgin; no man had known her…”
(Genesis 24:16)
Remember this Rebekah is somebody alone in the middle of the desert watering camels. What three year old would be able to carry the water necessary for camels to drink?
Again, shortly after the marriage, we read,
“Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebekah as wife, the daughter of Bethuel the Syrian of Padan Aram, the sister of Laban the Syrian. Now Isaac pleaded with the Lord for his wife, because she was barren; and the Lord granted his plea, and Rebekah his wife conceived.”
(Genesis 25:20–21)
So Isaac prays to God for a three year old to conceive? Then God grants this prayer and this three year old gives birth to twins?! Now note how our Muslim friends expect to read this story;
“Abraham asks his servant to find a child for his son to marry, the servant prays to God for a child for Isaac to marry, God answers this prayer by sending a child alone in the desert to carry pitchers of water to water camels, this child marries Isaac. Isaac prays to God that this child conceives a child and God answers so that this child gives birth to twin children.”
So they are calling Abraham, Abraham’s servant, Isaac and God himself child molesters and facilitators of child molesting solely to defend Muhammad. Then these same Muslims will turn around and say they respect all the prophets!
It is interesting how they claim to respect all the prophets yet they will, in the twinkle of an eye, throw them all under the bus to defend Muhammad, Islam’s real god!
D. The catholic encyclopaedia says Mary was 12 so Joseph married a kid
Let us reproduce what the catholic encyclopaedia says about Joseph’s marriage to Mary,
“It is probably at Nazareth that Joseph betrothed and married her who was to become the Mother of God. When the marriage took place, whether before or after the Incarnation, is no easy matter to settle, and on this point the masters of exegesis have at all times been at variance. Most modern commentators, following the footsteps of St. Thomas, understand that, at the epoch of the Annunciation, the Blessed Virgin was only affianced to Joseph; as St. Thomas notices, this interpretation suits better all the evangelical data.
It will not be without interest to recall here, unreliable though they are, the lengthy stories concerning St. Joseph’s marriage contained in the apocryphal writings. When forty years of age, Joseph married a woman called Melcha or Escha by some, Salome by others; they lived forty-nine years together and had six children, two daughters and four sons, the youngest of whom was James (the Less, “the Lord’s brother”). A year after his wife’s death, as the priests announced through Judea that they wished to find in the tribe of Juda a respectable man to espouse Mary, then twelve to fourteen years of age. Joseph, who was at the time ninety years old, went up to Jerusalem among the candidates; a miracle manifested the choice God had made of Joseph, and two years later the Annunciation took place. These dreams, as St. Jerome styles them, from which many a Christian artist has drawn his inspiration (see, for instance, Raphael’s “Espousals of the Virgin”), are void of authority; they nevertheless acquired in the course of ages some popularity; in them some ecclesiastical writers sought the answer to the well-known difficulty arising from the mention in the Gospel of “the Lord’s brothers”; from them also popular credulity has, contrary to all probability, as well as to the tradition witnessed by old works of art, retained the belief that St. Joseph was an old man at the time of marriage with the Mother of God.”
(The entry “Joseph” in the Catholic Encyclopaedia)
Note that the above entry makes it clear that these traditions are unreliable, void of authority and run contrary to all probability so Muslim preachers and apologists who say the catholic encyclopaedia teaches Mary was twelve at the time of marriage to Joseph are very clearly lying!
Even if we accept these “unreliable and doubtful” traditions as authentic there are four major problems.
First, Mary was said to be twelve to fourteen years old thus significantly older than Aisha was.
Secondly, the narrative of Joseph’s being an old man marrying a twelve year old Mary comes from the Protoevangelium of James which is a “catholic flavor” document written explicitly to affirm the perpetual virginity of Mary. Joseph is chosen by God as the husband of Mary precisely because he is too old and will not have any desire to consummate the marriage! So Joseph never did to Mary at twelve or fourteen what Muhammad did to Aisha at nine!
Third, the Protoevangelium of James, the source of this tradition, explicitly portrays Joseph as being embarrassed at being an old man being married to a young girl. He is afraid of being a laughing stock,
“ And the priest said to Joseph, You have been chosen by lot to take into your keeping the virgin of the Lord. But Joseph refused, saying: I have children, and I am an old man, and she is a young girl. I am afraid lest I become a laughing-stock to the sons of Israel.”
(Protoevangelium of James verse 9)
Even Joseph in this tradition does not see this behaviour of an old man marrying a young pre-teen as normal in any way!
Fourth problem is this, you know what else this tradition also says? It records concerning the birth of Jesus,
“And the midwife said to him: Is this true? And Joseph said to her: Come and see. And the midwife went away with him. And they stood in the place of the cave, and behold a luminous cloud overshadowed the cave. And the midwife said: My soul has been magnified this day, because my eyes have seen strange things — because salvation has been brought forth to Israel.”
(verse 19)
And again,
“And Salome went and carried it, saying: I will worship Him, because a great King has been born to Israel”
(Verse 20)
This same tradition has Jesus Christ being worshipped and bringing salvation to mankind. Would our Muslim friends also accept this “authentic” tradition when it says these things? Would they agree that Jesus contrary to His wooden classical Arabic speaking existence in the Quran as a mouthpiece for Muhammad’s propaganda, was actually worshipped? Would this not align with the Christian belief of Jesus and make a mockery of His Quranic representation? Or do our Muslim friends only accept these traditions when they think it supports child marriage and ignore the rest of it?
Based on scripture however, we have ground to believe Mary was a woman because that is how she is portrayed. The Angel Gabriel says to her,
“Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!”
(Luke 1:28)
Remember that the same gospel of Luke calls a twelve year old a little girl!
“…for he had an only daughter about twelve years of age, and she was dying….”
(Luke 8:42)
And again,
“But He put them all outside, took her by the hand and called, saying, “Little girl, arise.”
(Luke 8:54)
So even by Biblical standards Aisha was a little girl and based on the doubtful traditions Muslims try to use as a basis of defence, although Joseph married a little girl, he never consummated the marriage and was ashamed of being laughed at for being in such a marriage. This makes Joseph significantly more respectable than Muhammad.
E. The Talmud allows a girl to get married at three years old
First off, the Talmud is not Jewish law binding on all Jews (Like the Quran is binding on all Muslims). It is a corpus of Jewish debates on the Torah and the Mishnah (i.e. an oral law Jews claim go back to Moses). As a result, there are always messed up quotes by rabbis in the Talmud anybody can quote-mine. What the quote-miners would usually not do is provide the full quote of the discussion as more often than not there would be rabbis refuting or disapproving the messed up thing one rabbi has just been quoted as saying.
For example,
“The Gemara asks: Until what age is one still considered a minor? Rav Ḥisda said: A girl until she is three years and one day old, and a boy until he is nine years and one day old, for these are the ages from which a sexual act in which they participate is considered a sexual act.”
(Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Berakhot 24a)
Sounds like a horrible endorsement of child marriage right? Is this the full quote though?
Absolutely not, it goes on to say,
“Some say: A girl eleven years and one day old and a boy of twelve years and one day old, as that is the age at which they are considered adults in this regard. This age is only approximate, as the age of majority for both this, the boy, and that, the girl, is at the onset of puberty in accordance with the verse: “Your breasts were formed and your hair was grown” (Ezekiel 16:7).”
(Same source as above)
Do you see how easy it is to misrepresent the Jewish Talmud? The final answer is that the age of majority is at the start of puberty. The age of majority being three years old was the opinion of a solitary rabbi!
The Jews unfortunately are the only ethnic group it is acceptable to apply the view of any weird thing any of them has ever said to ALL OF THEM. Mohammed Hijab is in the UK saying “paedophilia is relative”, would it be fair to say that ALL Muslims on the planet believe that?
The Talmud is a record of discussions and debates on the Torah and Mishnah. We do not see Jews actively defending child marriage or looking to marry three year old girls (most Jews have never opened the Talmud and have no idea what it says!), we do however see child marriage prevalent in Muslim countries, Iraq lowering the marriage age of consent to nine years old and child brides in Yemen not surviving their wedding nights. This makes it clear that one religion believes it is acceptable to bang kids, another does not!
F. Some kings in the past married kids!
This might well be true, but have a look at the below Wikipedia article which contains a list of famous child brides;
Do you notice a pattern?
The brides are young but so are the grooms in a vast majority of cases. I had a quick scan of the above and by no means is a 52 year old marrying with a nine year old the normal pattern of events! Remember with prophet Muhammad, this is the scenario we are talking about! Think about that! or don’t!
The final word
You know what? I am in a generous mood! Let me grant everything that our Muslim friends allege. Isaac married a kid, Rebecca was three, Mary was twelve when Joseph married her, every king in England until Charles III married a kid, what does this have to do with it being right or wrong? Are they our final authority on issues of morality? Of course not!
We can condemn Isaac and Mary and every king in England as horrible child molesting creeps! Do Muslims dare to do the same to Muhammad?
The most problematic aspect of Muhammad’s marriage is not even the consummation, it is the fact his actions set a pattern. A pattern that no Muslim is authorized to change for all time,
“There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allah often.”
(Surah 33:21)
And again,
“It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly strayed into clear error.”
(Surah 33:36)
Muhammad sets an example and today, millions of young innocent girls are literally screwed as a result of this. In Christianity, Jesus is the example and the pattern of conduct and all the prophets leading up to him had moral failures which we all learn from and do not aim to replicate, Muhammad’s “games” with kids however is something that has been replicated since the 7th century and right here right now in the 21st century, young girls are having their lives and bodies destroyed.
Conclusion
All that said, the question our Muslim friends should ask themselves is this; If you have to lie about Abraham, lie about Isaac, lie about Rebekah, lie about Joseph, lie about Mary, lie about the Talmud, lie about Judaism and lie about the Catholic Encyclopaedia in order to defend your prophet how can this religion which can only be defended by lies upon lies upon lies be the truth?
