The real lesson from the Mohammed Hijab “ex-wife” saga
One of the biggest and most influential Muslim apologists on the planet is under fire right now. The YouTube channel “Behind veils” interviewed a woman who alleges she was manipulated into a “hotel marriage” by Mohammed Hijab. Now, you can go to the YouTube video as well as the very mysterious Mohammed Hijab defender on the channel “False Accusations” and make up your mind after hearing both sides of the story. It is very curious that this channel despite being created on November 8th 2023 has only one video, the channel did not post anything until Mohammed Hijab got in trouble and then this channel all of a sudden feels the uncontrollable urge to jump to his defence. Strange isn’t it?
The story itself is not the point of this article, you can refer to the above sources to follow the story. The point of this article is to distil some salient lessons to be learnt from it.
The first lesson here is that there really is no such thing as “marriage” in Islam. What is the definition of marriage?
“The union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others”. To quote the book of Genesis,
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
(Genesis 2:24)
In Islam, “marriage” is not between a man and a woman but between a man and multiple women.
“ If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice…”
(Surah 4:3)
On the face of it, it appears very noble that the Quran says you should marry more than one wife only if you can do justice between them. Problem however is that the Quran admits it is not possible to do justice between more than one wife,
“And you have it not in your power to do justice between wives, even though you may wish…”
(Surah 4:129)
So what is the point of the command to marry more than one woman if you can do justice between them if it is impossible to justice between more than one woman no matter how much you want to? Further to this, even Muhammad could not do justice between all his wives. His wives were always fighting among each other, jealous of each other…like you would expect in a polygamous home…more on this later.
“And shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”
The idea of marriage is that TWO people should become ONE flesh. In Islam, there are more than two people and they are for sure not being made one flesh. The point of two becoming one is that it becomes difficult, if not impossible, to split up after both parties have been merged into one. Jesus Himself said,
“Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate”
In Islam, divorce is very easy. The man just needs to say “I divorce you” three times to his wife. It can even be done by text message. So easy! And of course can only be done by the man! Surprise surprise. Now, to show you how Islamic marriage is very loose, Allah himself in the Quran threatens Mohammed’s wives with divorce,
“It may be, if he divorced you (all), that Allah will give him in exchange consorts better than you,- who submit (their wills), who believe, who are devout, who turn to Allah in repentance, who worship (in humility), who travel (for Faith) and fast,- previously married or virgins.”
(Surah 66:5)
Now the context of Surah 66 is that Muhammad swore an oath to his wives. Some hadiths say it was about foul smelling honey which his wives made him swear to stop eating and some hadiths say one of his wives caught him having sex with a slave in her house and on her bed and made him swear an oath not to do it again. Either way Allah tells him he should not have made the oath and he should break it and if his wives complain about it, Muhammad can divorce them and he (Allah) would give Muhammad more wives in their place.
A marriage by definition is a commitment for life, you are not supposed to get out of this alive! In Islam however, you can divorce at will. Part of this life long commitment of marriage is that it should be based on trust. The Bible says,
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her”
And again,
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”
(Ephesians 5:22,31)
The husband is to love his wife. In Islam, however, the husband is to beat his wife into submission if he as much as “fears” rebellion from them.
“Men are the managers of the affairs of women for that God has preferred in bounty one of them over another, and for that they have expended of their property. Righteous women are therefore obedient, guarding the secret for God’s guarding. And those you fear may be rebellious admonish; banish them to their couches, and beat them.”
How can this kind of conduct sustain what is supposed to be a life long commitment?
A marriage relationship should be a reflection of the relationship between Jesus Christ and the church. The relationship is one of absolute trust between both parties and based on self sacrifice on the part of the man. In Islam, the man is not even expected to sacrifice a sexual relationship with other women. Further, a man is allowed to lie to his wife,
“Asma bint Yazid narrated that the Messenger of Allah said:
“it is not lawful to lie except in three cases: Something the man tells his wife to please her, to lie during war, and to lie in order to bring peace between the people.”
(Jami Ar-Tirmidhi Book 27 Hadith 45)
This is a hadith, no other than Mohammed Hijab has cited and extended to mean that a person can even have a secret second wife and lie to his first wife about it. He is on record on YouTube with Ali Dawah advocating this based on the hadith of Muhammad. In fact, one of the privileges of prophet Muhammad (Tafsir Al-Qurtubi on Surah 33:50) is that he is allowed to break oaths made to his wives.
So there is no trust in an Islamic marriage.
Now, it gets even weirder. In Islam, a “marriage” can be contracted for a limited period. Of course the point of this is to “sanctify” fornication. This is called “Mutah” marriage. There is debate as to whether or not this is permissible today and there are hadiths to the effect that it has been prohibited and to the effect that it is permitted. Point though is why will Allah permit this to begin with? Is this not completely against the point of marriage? particularly the “life long” commitment bit?
And then thanks to Mohammed Hijab, we now know about “Misyar” marriage. It is a kind of marriage where the woman foregoes her rights to maintenance, the presence of the “husband” overnight and the “husband” has little to no responsibility for the woman. The difference between this marriage and Mutah is that the latter is temporary and the period is pre-agreed while the former has no expiry date and could in theory continue in perpetuity.
Simply put, marriage in Islam is not a thing, it is just an outlet for a man’s sexual urges and anytime a “married man” has a new urge and craves a new woman, there are avenues to satisfy that urge within one of the many shades and variations of “marriage”.
The second lesson is that Muslims do not expose each other’s sins.
“It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
“Whoever covers (the sin of) a Muslim, Allah will cover him (his sin) in this world and in the Hereafter.”
(Sunan Ibn Majah Book 20 Hadith 12)
And again,
“Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “Every one of my followers will be forgiven except those who expose (openly) their wrongdoings. An example of this is that of a man who commits a sin at night which Allah has covered for him, and in the morning, he would say (to people): “I committed such and such sin last night,’ while Allah had kept it a secret. During the night Allah has covered it up but in the morning he tears up the cover provided by Allah Himself.”
(Riyad Ad-Salihin 241, Sahih Muslim Book 48 Hadith 48)
The YouTuber (as well as the unnamed woman) exposing Mohammed Hijab has come under fire for covering this story. In fact one sheikh said he heard about the story initially but said nothing hoping it would not spread but that now it is out there, he has to respond. This is Islam! The only reason Muslims are reacting to this and talking about this now is because non-Muslims are talking about it. Remember at any point in time, the ultimate concern of Muslims is the image of the Muslim community and if people get burnt along the way, who cares? Now of course, there are exceptions and there are Muslims who support the exposing of Mimi Hijab (irrespective of whether or not they have their own personal issues with him and support this exposé as an avenue to grind their axes) but this highlights the dysfunction of the community.
And speaking of dysfunction, do you notice how dysfunctional the leading apologists of Islam are? Notice the kind of people they praise. Remember “Aisha” alleges that one of the main reasons she “married” Hijab secretly is because of all the scholars who kept praising him. Who do the Muslim community and scholars praise? Daniel Haqiqatjou debates the virtues of child marriage, Ali Dawah says he will tell his daughter she is ready for marriage if she menstruates at nine years old, Sheikh Uthman Ibn Farooq literally took the wife of his friend who was sent to him for marriage counselling, faked a hate crime against himself, has been sued by his first wife for domestic abuse, has been caught over and over lying about Islam, why does this not bother the Muslim community at all? Because Islam is all that matters to them, not truth or humanity, Islam.
This brings us to the third and final lesson, this debacle will have little to no impact on Mohammed Hijab. I am certain (and I hope this comment ages like milk) that he will emerge unscathed from this scandal.
Finally, as a Muslim, if you are truly disgusted with what Mimi Hijab has done, understand that Mohammed Hijab is not the problem here, Muhammad is! It is Muhammad’s fault for cloaking the indulgence of depravity with the guise of “marriage”. It is Muhammad’s fault for coming up with a system of rules where virtually anything can be justified based on opinions of the scholars. Mimi Hijab has done nothing wrong according to Islam. If you have issues with this, you have issues with Muhammad and if you have issues with Muhammad, why remain a Muslim?
